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#0038

After the overwhelmingly negative response to post #0036 from my multitudinous throng of demanding readers, I feel that a little justification is in order. As such, this post would be titled (if I was vain enough for titles):

“Why Camping Is Fun.”

Communing with nature is an essential part of understanding God’s creation, discovering the goddess inside yourself, and releasing the Earth Mother spirits from their captivity beneath the ground and within the trees. Not to mention supporting the forest fairies and river elves and all that jazz. It’s a public service.

Cell phones are evil. Their radioactive microwaves that erupt in short bursts through your brain and internal organs every time you utilize a cellular device are slowly killing you. Getting out of range of cell phone towers for even a day or night can add a whole year to your life. Also, your mother cannot call you, which, let’s be honest, increases your quality of life anytime.

You might see a bear. Or be mauled by a deer. Or chased by wolves. Which would give you a really cool story to tell at parties. It’ll make you popular.

It’s a time to bond with friends, away from the distractions of roommates, in-laws, other friends, elephants, television, keeping appointments with people you don’t like enough to go camping with, the internet, Facebook, college professors, internship and employment supervisors, and boyfriends. Unless the boyfriends come too, in which case we like the boyfriends.

You can hike on giant white rocks. Where else can you hang out with the Devil’s Rocks? We will do this and it will be fun.

I can’t think of any more. But you can be sure we’ll go swimming and hiking and learn survival skills so that when the fit hits the shan, and the zombie virus is released, and the nuclear reactors explode and all electricity is eliminated… we’ll be ready.

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